It’s amazing what you can learn from “the nation”‘s favourite drug. After watching some of the Today Show and then a little news from the WTO ministerial on a mexican news network, I switched to an unnamed network to see the familiar sight of a preacher in full flow.

It’s amazing what you can learn. Today I discovered that I am, in fact, a worshipper of Ba’al. You see, from time to time I’ve been known to slip the odd feminine pronoun into discussions of God. But now I have been convicted. I have discovered that that is a sure sign of just one thing: Ba’al worship.

I can’t remember any blood sacrifices in my near past. In fact, I don’t recall taking part in any rituals of any sort in the ancient near-east. Perhaps I’m missing a few memories. Perhaps the drinking and associated activities which presumably accompanied such rituals are to blame.

Still, it’s good to know. Amazing.

Having allowed Monday’s adventures to slip my mind momentarily, I worried about myself when I heard scratching from the corner of my office. I didn’t check it out. But when it recurred I thought I’d better look into it. Moving the sofa, I spotted one of our small, furry, rodent friends.

The sofa movement naturally scared said rodent away. The posse was called in and we chased it around the office, eventually ending with it running into the skirting board. This animal knows how to outsmart us.

Moments later, as I was preparing to leave the building, Colin informed me that, with the use of The Hat, the gerbil had been retrieved and returned to its natural habitat.

Ownership of the hat has still not been established.

It all began when i went to look for a hole punch.

I wanted to file some notes from exec training. my hole punch has disappeared, and I thought Colin might have one. He didn’t.

So we went to sophie’s office to search for one. She normally has two, and Colin needed to get in there to feed the gerbils since Sophie is away till Thursday.

Not only did we not find a hole punch, but…. the gerbils had chewed their way through their platic enclosure and were running free in the office.

And so, once Simon came to the scene, did much three stooges-esque hilarity ensue.

I was down on hands and knees trying to entice the gerbils into a box, when the contents of the box (sawdust) fell all over the floor.

Eventually, we trapped one in a plastic box and put it on a shelf and zoned in on another. as we did so, the third leapt into the skirting board and disappeared.

I set Simon to kicking the skirting board, hoping to drive it out with noise, but to no avail.

We caught the second in Colin’s hands, before suddenly it leapt out. In fine form, Colin caught it in mid-air, but too late to stop it leaping up again and returning to the floor.

I nearly caught it in a box, but moved the box too quickly and it leapt to freedom once again.

Eventually, Simon trapped it underneath a hat (picture Elvis Costello circa his best of release) and I slid a leaflet advertising guide dogs underneath. and so we returned those two to their funky plastic tunnel kingdom.

But to this day, one gerbil remains loose in the skirting boards. hopefully Sophie won’t notice.

[adapted from an MSN chat]